Truth, Part 2

My last entry on Truth outlined some of the general areas where I am seeking Truth and Honesty in my life. In this post, I will go deeper into my own patterns and how I am working on accentuating what is working and fixing what is not working. The I Ching teaches that Life is flow...seasons are cyclical...that we create patterns that we carry with us through many lives. We need to recognize those patterns that are pushing us towards our Incarnate Purpose and we need to alter the ones that are holding us back from fulfilling what we have come to this Earth to do.

1. Marriage: Mo and I have a crazy love story that I will share with you one day. At the time, we were probably one of the most unlikely couples to get together and settle down. In many ways, we couldn't be more different. In other ways, we couldn't be more similar. One way that we are the same is in our need for independence. We form our own agendas and set about completing our goals individually, instead of seeing where we over lap and could work together. And we often neglect to inform each other of our plans. We both have these tendencies, yet, I become very upset with Mo when he forgets to tell me something. I also have a hard time admitting when I am wrong or acknowledging my own faults and apologizing.

2. Parenting: There are times when I become too focused on the task at hand that I forget to ease up and just go with the flow. I become impatient with the constant interruptions. At times it becomes a battle of wills just to get shoes on and get out the door to do the grocery shopping. I yell...sometimes a lot. I have to remind myself that children are great mimics. They do what you show them...not what you tell them. And while getting the daily chores done is one thing, in the bigger picture, it just doesn't matter if/when/how they get done. What matters is that I am teaching my children how to be joyful, confident, compassionate, productive individuals.

3. Step-Parenting: In this area, I am having a hard time advocating for Warrior and Earth Mother. I feel that this is partially due to a scarcity of resources. I am not advocating for them because to do so would mean diverting our already meager resources of money, time and energy. We are still trying to build a strong foundation for ourselves, advance our careers and settle Song and Shine. I feel that if we spread ourselves too thin, then we will collapse from trying to carry a load that is much too heavy for us right now. This doesn't mean that I do not love or care deeply for them, because I do...very much.

4. Disease: Some believe that disease is a manifestation of a troubled Spirit. That illness happens to draw our attention to that area of our psyche that is clogged, broken, out of alignment and holding us back from fulfilling our Divine Purpose. I can see this with my dad and his diagnosis. The Truth I need to face is that this is my father's journey. I would like him to respond in certain ways that I hope I would respond if it were me and my diagnosis and my journey. I need to accept that it is out of my control...that this experience and these lessons are his.

5. The Present Moment: I often suffer from "the grass is greener" syndrome. I have found it difficult to settle down in one place. I reach a destination and then begin thinking, "Where can I go next?" or "If I were just not here but there, my life would be great." I lived for just shy of ten years in Brooklyn. Eight of those ten years were spent in the same apartment. Other than my childhood home in Pennsylvania, that is the longest I have lived in one place. However, when I reflect back on those Brooklyn years, most of the time was spent thinking about how to leave and move to the next place. I feel like I didn't embrace being in it was just a stepping stone on my way to finding...well, finding what exactly? I could never be sure. When we moved to Kingston, I became determined to lay down roots and really start to grow. I am making the most of the opportunities here. This is my home. This is where I belong in this present moment.

Face your Truth.
Peace and Wellness,

P.S. Read Part One here.
Read Our Love Story here.


Heather said…
Oh many of your truths I share. And they're hard---to both admit and overcome.

We'll just have to hold hands and make it through this together!